The Crud Masters by Justin Grimbol

The Crud Masters is a classic story: a bunch of social misfits band together against a group of rich hotshots and win.

Except The Crud Masters is more than a John Hughes rehash (and I dig me a fine John Hughes film). The Crud Masters is twisted, kinky, honest and hilarious. And fun. So seriously fun. It’s a book that would make another time stream’s S.E. Hinton proud. (But not this time stream; this time stream’s S.E.  Hinton doesn’t get people like us.)

And the characters aren’t your normal rehash of a bunch of 80s characters in a coming of age film. No, this time they’re insane! There’s Boogers who’s addicted to nasal spray; Clitty… just the fact that someone is named Clitty is enough; there’s Soda Can, a sex robot, Bovy, the bovine-like smelly love interest; Pussy Bear, a modified giant bear with massive breasts; and but that’s just the beginning.

Oh yeah, there’s also massive monsters, like something out of a Japanese horror film, and a real life Transformer.

This book is a definite read for the characters alone. But this book’s real gems are the asides, like what it means to “Porky Pig,” or the details surrounding Booger’s nasal spray addiction.

And then there’s what makes the book absolute gold: its readers can completely related to the characters and their lives. Yeah, once upon a time, these were my friends and our lives were like this. I read these pages and I feel nostalgic for this crazy, fun time in my life. For the crazy, weird people I knew.

And I don’t have to miss them, I can go back and read The Crud Masters.


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